Ashleigh Graham Personal Stylist

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STOP SETTLING, START SOLVING

 
 

🌿THE SELF CARE SUNDAY BLOG🌿

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We all have challenges, problems and systems that don’t work for us. So why are we complaisant? Why do we keep on doing the things that make us feel crap?

Since a young age I’ve been driven to seek answers and understanding of everything. Perhaps I naturally have a problem solving brain, that encourages me to always look for ways to improve things. As I go about life I have come up against many challenges and systems that don’t work well for me, so after an age of complaining, I got fed up and changed them.

Two good personal examples are:

Curing my anxiety/phobia of math.

Changing my attitude towards cleaning.

The math phobia was a pretty big one to tackle as it was a deep psychological fear from childhood. It was so bad that I even fainted once working at a cafe, while serving a big line of people. It held me back so much that I didn’t dare work anywhere that included handling money. This was hugely limiting as you can imagine. So in the end I seeked help from a NLP coach who helped me over the course of a year diminish the anxiety, re-write my memories and create new mental strategies for solving math problems. I’m gratefully at a place where it no longer effects me at all. I even have to do spread sheets for work and I’m hardly fazed by them!

The other is a lighter example. A few years ago I was in a bit of a bad place, I was working long hours in a job that I hated. My time off was very sparse and it seemed to disappear so quickly. I absolutely hated cleaning my house. I felt like it robbed me of my precious time. I would let it build up over the weeks till it got really bad and unavoidable. Then it would take me hours to clean and I would get in a really depressed mood. I knew living in a clean, de-cluttered space was ultra important for my mental health so I decided to take a new approach. I began to find YouTube videos on people who actually enjoyed cleaning and learned ways that I could do it more effectively and find the fun in it. One lady suggested listening to audio books and podcasts while doing mundane repetitive tasks. This worked extremely well for me as I get so lost the book that I keep cleaning even when I finished! I love this one because It feels like time I’m dedicating for myself to listen to something that is either educating me or giving me some escapism. It didn’t take long before I looked forward to cleaning when I would get home!

One of the reasons I felt drawn to styling from a young age was because I wanted to help my mum find clothes that suited her. She struggled with big breasts that always seemed to get in the way. I so desperately wanted her to feel good in clothes because she always looked sad trying outfits on. over the years I taught her everything I know and now she dresses with ease and confidence. Years later I asked her if she had ever considered researching her body shape to make dressing easier for her back in the day.

She said that she just accepted it and had never considered changing anything.

This baffled me.

A person gets dressed every single day. If you hated getting dressed and it makes you feel bad then you have to feel this negative feeling every single day for your entire life. It’s just not worth the unhappiness.

So If you can think of something in your life that’s not working for you. Big or small. PLEASE do change that. Take your issue and research how to make a healthy system or a positive perception out of it for your future. The reality is our challenges wont go away, many of them hang around forever and unfortunately they get worse as we get older. So might as well figure out a way to make them work better for us!

 
Ashleigh Graham